Precious Words

People ask me how many words they have to write before they have a novel. It's an interesting question. Writers like me can be a bit obsessive when it comes to word count. I use it as a measure of progress. I like to write at least a thousand words every day. My problem is letting some of them go into the trash but I'll come to that later.

I'm reminded of the story about the budding author who approaches a publisher at a party. 'What's the least number of pages you'd publish as a novel?' she asked. 'Three hundred,' he answered. The writer threw up her hands in joy and went running excitedly around the room shouting 'It's finished!'

The conventional answer to the question is seventy to ninety thousand words though some genres like fantasy can be much longer. I would add a few words of caution, though. The important thing is to tell the story in a compelling way. That may take more words or, preferably, fewer. Vonnegut urged us to 'start as close to the end as possible'.

Which brings me back to the unpalatable truth that not every word I write is either necessary or appropriate for the story I'm telling. Accepting this isn't easy. Those words were painstakingly and often painfully extracted. Losing them into the oblivion of the trash bin can hurt.
There are times when I read through the previous day's output and am tempted to trash the lot. This is normal but ill-advised. I have learned to leave everything exactly as it was written until I've finished the story. Then, after a period of reflection, revision can take place.
Working with an editor has taught me that I am not a good judge of my own work.

The initial casualties of the editing tend to be the first few chapters. Often these can be completely removed with great benefit to the whole piece. Why is that? The way I've come to think about this is to consider the opening exchanges of a difficult conversation. Imagine having to persuade someone to do something you know they won't like. How would you start the conversation? I'd certainly not go straight to the point. I'd ask them how they were and try to get an idea of how they were feeling. See if there was some angle I could use to soften the impact of the harsh words to follow. So it is with my characters. They are inevitably in for a hard time. I'm about to throw all kinds of trials and tribulations their way. Before I do, though, I spend a bit of time getting to know them a bit better.
The reader doesn't have to see this process.

My first Jenny Parker novel originally began with a long detailed scene with Jenny sitting on a toilet. I resisted its deletion with all my might but eventually conceded that this piece of information might have been essential for me but it was something my readers should be spared.
Incidentally, six years after its first publication, a new edition of Due Diligence has been released. The toilet scene is still missing.

An elephant with two trunks

Let's have a referendum.

I think that all elephants should have two trunks. How about you? Wouldn't that be a really cool thing. Good for the elephant, I bet. And good for the zoo visitor who will be able to see something different. Imagine the benefits of two trunks. Breathing while drinking. The ability to pick up two things at a time. It seems a shame that they have been denied the extra trunk for so long.

I'm convinced that having two trunks would be a major benefit for both elephants and humans. Don't you agree?

So, let's vote on it. We can have a referendum. Sort this out once and for all.

Sounds crazy, doesn't it? The idea that just because people vote for something then it has to be like that. You and I know perfectly well that no matter how overwhelming the vote might be, elephants only have one trunk and that's that. The vote changes nothing. All it does is make us look stupid and ill-informed for bothering.

The Brexit referendum is pretty much the same. People (narrowly) voted for two trunks. They were promised two trunks by politicians who didn't have any prospect of delivering.

Now, the reality of EU membership is starting to become clear. It's a club we can't leave. We are in Europe and, no matter how many people vote to be somewhere else, that's where we stay. Our major trading partners are European. Our food supplies come from Europe. Our defence strategy is European. And so on.

The big shout from the Leave campaigners is that the people have spoken The will of the people must be done. We have to leave the EU. Elephants must have two trunks.

The Government has recently realised that elephants only have one trunk and that there's nothing they can do to change it.  Two isn't possible but none certainly is. If they can chop off the trunk of every elephant then at least they will have done something in response to the referendum.The elephants will all die but that's merely the consequence of holding a referendum that demands a change in the number of trunks an elephant should have.

It's the will of the people that elephants must have two trunks. They voted for something that isn't possible. Even another vote that promises three extra trunks per animal wouldn't change the facts.

It's the same with the EU. Voting for things to be different doesn't change the fact that we rely on our EU membership for our livelihoods.

But, the people have spoken and cutting off our only trunk might be the only alternative to leaving things as they are.

photo credit: marfis75 Elefantastisch. via photopin (license)

Stranger then Fiction

Truth is stranger than fiction. This familiar saying is a quote from that master storyteller, Mark Twain. Any writer of fiction, like myself, has to bear this in mind.
Why?
Well, I suppose it's because too much realism can be difficult for a reader to swallow. Real life tends to be fragmented, things happen that are often completely unrelated. The relative importance of events can be very hard to judge and often remain opaque. Things come and go. Things that seemed to matter one moment fade into complete insignificance.
None of these aspects of reality are conducive to telling a good story. In fiction, it's essential to have a structure. A beginning, middle and end. There has to be a satisfactory outcome for the reader, something that can't be guaranteed by a factual account.
You might have observed that books, films and TV programmes based on true events are always heavily dramatised. The complexity of the real has to be simplified and carefully presented in order to tell a story in a way that will hold an audience. Outcomes, especially, are manipulated in order to deliver that essential happy ending.
Here's an example of what I'm trying to say. Consider this as the plot for a thriller.

The Russians invade Ukraine on a pretext. They arm the local thugs and support them with Russian soldiers who are 'on holiday' there. A Russian-supplied ground to air missile system is deployed to shoot down a civilian airliner and kill hundreds of innocent men, women and children. The AA battery is quickly spirited away back to Russia and vigorous denials are issued.

The CIA find satellite evidence of Russian involvement in the atrocity. Secret agents in Russia collect damning information about the incident and also uncover links between the Russian leader and organised crime. More diligent investigative work discovers billions of dollars of offshore funds linked directly to Putin.

OK, so far so good. Let's put an ending to it:

In a race against time, a plucky CIA agent puts all the information together and then manages to dash to the UN building, through a hail of FSB bullets, and give it to the US Ambassador. A Security Council resolution proposed by Russia is blocked when the revelations are made. Russian allies voice their disapproval and withdraw support. Hundreds of thousands of lives are saved in Syria as the disgraced Russian regime is prevented from continuing to support the vicious Assad regime. A popular uprising in Russia ousts the president and the world becomes a better and more peaceful place.

This is the kind of thing required to make a good story. Of course, it's fictional. The true outcome is as follows:

FIFA decide to hold the World Cup in Russia.

See what I mean?

photo credit: Delta_33 Malaysia Airlines 9M-MTC Airbus A330 via photopin (license)

Don't Give Up

William Shakespeare was not impressed when we met.

Me? I'm trying to put on a brave face in front of the diminutive literary giant and failing badly.

It's easy for a writer like me to fall into the trap of becoming overwhelmed by a feeling of inadequacy when confronted by someone I can't ever hope to emulate. I've often felt like giving up writing after reading Iain Banks or Haruki Murakami. I can't write like they do so why should I bother trying?

A couple of people in my writers' circle have recently informed me that they are giving up writing. They both cited disappointment with their lack of success with books they had published. This has got me thinking about my own situation. The odds are stacked against me becoming a literary giant.

So why bother writing at all? It's hard work, demands a lot of time and produces scant monetary reward. Putting in the same hours at work would make much more economic sense.

These are some of the thoughts I've had:

Writing is like golf.

I don't play golf regularly. I've never been tempted to take it up but I have played a few rounds in my time. If I did play golf I would do it without the expectation of winning the British Open. So why expect to win the Booker Prize with my writing?

What would I do someone saw me playing golf and said that I could earn as much money as Tiger Woods and if I gave them a few thousand pounds they would show me how? Laugh in their face, of course. But what about those predatory publisher that make similar promises? What is it that makes us writers so vulnerable?

If I did play golf I wouldn't expect friends and family to spend hour after hour trudging around after me watching me hack my way from hole to hole. So why do I expect them to drop everything and read whatever I write as soon as I send it to them?

Then there's the issue of practice. If I want my golf to improve I need to take lessons, which I have to pay for. OK, I might get some help from a playing partner who could make a few observations about my technique, or lack of it. Another golfer may be able to spot some obvious flaws but if I'm to remedy them I'll need professional help. Writing is very much the same. If I keep on writing the same way for year after year there's not going to be much improvement. Other writers might point out that I'm telling rather than showing, or that my characters are stereotyped but I'm going to need to attend some courses or get some coaching if I'm going to change things. Practice is essential, but it needs to be informed. The right kind of feedback is essential for progression.

Very few get to be professional golfers. It's the same with writers. Yet golfers keep on golfing, they don't give up just because the hurdle to fame and fortune is set unreasonably high. They play because now and again they hit an almost perfect shot and that gives them immense satisfaction. Nobody else needs to see their hole in one, though it's even more fun if they do. Sometimes I write something that makes me sigh with pleasure or laugh out loud. That's why I write. If it makes someone else feel the same way, then even better.

My advice is this. Write. That's what writers do. Commercial success is an unrealistic expectation forced on us by a society that demands instant gratification.

Accountants

Sometimes I get asked why my protagonist, Jenny Parker, is an accountant when most thrillers are written about members of the police force or private detectives. My answer is simple. The Proceeds of Crime Act 2002.

This legislation has changed the whole dynamic of criminal activity. Previously, the job of a criminal was to rake in as much cash as possible while avoiding the police and the taxman. After 2002, the business became a whole lot more complex. No longer were the bruiser, the enforcer and the hitman the arch-criminal's most important ally. A new regime evolved in the criminal fraternity. The accountant came to the fore. Without one, organised crime syndicates were lost. Having huge piles of cash became a liability rather than an asset. Converting ill-gotten gains into legitimate money that could actually be spent was the new priority.

I also believe that any plot that can be resolved using violence leaves a lot to be desired. Who's got the biggest muscles or largest calibre weapon doesn't do it for me. Jenny has to survive in a world of danger with only her wits and determination. Nor does she have the safety net of an institution like the police force.

So that's why Jenny is an accountant.

There's a fourth Jenny Parker novel, Exit Strategy, that is scheduled to be published in December 2016. Although I say it myself, it's the best one yet. I invite you to catch up with the others while you're waiting.

I enjoyed reading this particular review of Due Diligence because it reflects the way that the money laundering regulations affect every one of us.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful

 Absorbing Read, 5 Jun. 2013

By 

Anderida

Verified Purchase(What is this?)

This review is from: Due Diligence (Jenny Parker Book 1) (Kindle Edition)

I couldn't put this down. So glad I wasn't reading this on a bus or train because at times I was near to crying in frustration at the cruel fates suffered by the protagonist Jenny. I could easily empathise with the "Kick me when I'm down" life she is experiencing. May say more about me than the book! Minor, occasional suspension of belief (see other reviews) is a small price to pay for a thoroughly absorbing novel, which after all is a work of fiction to entertain, not a treatise on money laundering.

(Have you tried to open a bank account recently? I couldn't open an account to pay in a cheque from the Inland Revenue because it was in my old married name after I had reverted to my maiden name following my divorce. I'd tried paying it in to an existing bank account but they returned it saying I had told them I was the only resident in my property when actually there were two people - yep, me -married name, and me -maiden name. Caught by the money laundering rules for £1500 from the tax man! You couldn't make this up.)

Anyway, this novel is entertaining, absorbing, gets your sense of injustice working overtime and is just a very good read.

photo credit: Bank of England Fan of £50 notes via photopin (license)

EU Referendum

On June 23rd we're invited to vote yes or no to the following question:

Should the United Kingdom remain a member of the European Union or leave the European Union?

We had a Scottish Referendum in 2014 to decide whether or not the Scots should remain part of the United Kingdom. They voted to remain. Now, I'm willing to wager that the vast majority of Scots want to remain part of the EU and this fact weighed heavily in their decision to stay in the UK. This highlights one of the problems with referenda as a means of deciding things. When something as big as EU membership changes won't the Scots demand a re-run?

This is what I think:

The people who decide to hold a referendum  think they already know the result. Otherwise they wouldn't be having one. The government wouldn't be holding one if they thought we'd vote to leave.

The purpose of the referendum is to get rid of the issue once and for all rather than have it constantly colouring every governmental decision. All the anti-EU campaigners can then be fobbed off with 'the people have decided' argument.

In other countries when such a referendum hasn't yielded the required result they've kept on having them until they get the result they want. Then stop. That's what we'll do in the unlikely event that we vote to leave. The government will 'renegotiate terms' and try again.

The EU wouldn't survive in its present form without the UK. Many of the more recent members rely heavily on UK trade and free passage of workers. The EU wouldn't be all that attractive for them if we left.

Most people fear change of any kind. Even if they don't particularly like the EU, lots of people will be wary of opting out in case something bad happens.

So, we're staying in.

Even if we vote to leave, we'll be asked to reconsider and vote again until we give the right answer.

Nothing much to get excited about, then. Unless you're Scottish. Pro-independence Scots might consider voting for the UK to leave so that they can have another go at independence. That might send shivers through Whitehall as the Scottish vote is expected to be heavily in favour of remaining.

photo credit: Europäische Flagge via photopin (license)

Jeremy Corbyn

The election of Jeremy Corbyn as the Labour leader has been a disaster for me. Where do I start in order to explain?

Ah, yes. Movember 2015. The month I decided to grow a moustache for charity, an act that proved strangely prophetic but more of that another time. Once Movember was past I decided to retain my facial hair on the grounds that my primary relationship had improved because my wife dissolved into laughter every time she looked at me.

Movember turned into Decembeard. I went the whole hog and stopped shaving altogether. My face became spiky and uncomfortable to the extent that my new grandson would squeal if I held him close. Still I persevered as it was for a cause that turned out not to be as good as I had imagined, but that will need a whole blog to explain so we'll not go there right now.

In January, I watched a film called Finding Forrester. I recommend this if you've not seen it. You can get it free if you've a Netflix subscription. Sean Connery played a distinguished writer in the film. Part of his being distinguished was the beard he wore. I modelled mine on his and every time I looked in the mirror I murmured James Bond quotes in a peculiar accent that I fondly imagined might belong to Connery. My wellbeing and self-esteem were greatly improved at a time when I needed a boost. Walking around looking like Sean Connery's portrayal of an author felt pretty good. It ticked plenty of the boxes that I might have been inclined to tick had I been in the habit of filling in surveys. I never do surveys, even the ones that offer fabulous prizes just for spending ten minutes of my time. The nearest thing I do to surveys is occasionally respond to consultations which are relevant to my work. These are Government exercises and don't even have the merit of offering a free iPad if you're drawn out of the hat. It's important to respond to these because it's good practice in being ignored. By the time a consultation has been sent out, someone has already decided what the change in legislation is going to be, regardless what response they get. I once asked a Treasury official why they decided to change when ninety percent of the consultation responses urged them to leave things as they were. 'We obviously consulted the wrong people,' was the reply.

Where was I? Oh yes, Jeremy Corbyn.

I'd never heard of Jeremy Corbyn before the Labour Party leadership election. More importantly, neither had I seen a picture of him. Now it's too late, he's been elected and disaster is staring at me from every mirror. He's got my beard. Or, worse, I seem to have a beard exactly like his. People at work have started to call it a 'Corbyn,' I know they never called my beard a 'Connery' but silence is indeed golden when it comes to facial hair.

Jeremy is here to stay. Even if he resigns on principle tomorrow, the damage has been done and can't be undone. None of us can unlook at something so that it's erased from our memory. Pity. If Men in Black hadn't got there first that might have been the basis for a good story.

photo credit: Jeremy Corbyn spoke out against TTIP via photopin (license)

Amazon Royalty System

By the time you read this, Limited Liability may have been voted Book of the Year. Thanks to everyone who voted for it.
This whole book promotion and awards thing got me thinking. What am I really trying to achieve with my writing?

Then the news came from Amazon that they were changing the way they pay authors on Kindle Unlimited and Kindle Owners Lending Library. It used to be that if someone borrowed one of my books I got an equal share of the fund with everyone else whose book had been borrowed. Now I get a share which is calculated from the number of pages read. I don't know about you but that seems perfectly fair to me. It means that a writer is rewarded for writing well and that authors whose readers can't get beyond the first awful page get nothing.

Brilliant.

The KU/KOLL thing only applies to books which are exclusive to Amazon so almost all of them are unreadable self-published crap anyway. The new arrangement will be interesting.

Which brings me back to my original question which I'll pose in a more specific way. If a hundred thousand people bought my book but none of them read it, would I be happy? I doubt it, even if I did have all those royalties in my bank account. What if they all read it but none of them liked it? Again, I'd be rich but unhappy.

Which leads me to the conclusion that I'm writing in the hope that my books will be read and that my readers will enjoy them. So why not give away my work for free? Two reasons. First I need to at least pay my editor, proof reader and cover designer. Secondly, it would brand my work as worthless. There are so many free books out there that most people are no longer interested in them.

I've been very fortunate that my books have been promoted by best selling author Stephen Leather without whose help I wouldn't even be published. Because I've had this help, the Jenny Parker series has done well in terms of sales. The question I ask is have the people who bought my books actually read and enjoyed them?

I just realised that I can answer that question. I have sold several thousand copies of the second Jenny Parker novel, Proceeds of Crime. Those readers will almost certainly have read the first, Due Diligence, and liked it enough to buy the second.

So there you are, I can be officially happy according to my own terms of reference. I can also stop agonising over book sales and Amazon reviews.

I've just finished a fantasy novel involving a character called Tyrant. I enjoyed writing this more than anything I've ever written. It will be out in September and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

How many books will I sell?

People ask me this question quite often. How many books can I expect to sell when I self-publish?
My answer is:
Not many.
Or, maybe some.
Quite a lot, if you're lucky.
Actually, I have no idea.

Some books sell and some don't. You will only find out if you try. Few authors actually make money from the sales of their books. Bear that in mind at all times.
What I'm saying, or rather beating you over the head with, is my advice not to base your publishing decisions on some sort of business model. You know the sort of thing. If I sell 200 books per month at £2.99 and get 70% from Amazon that will give me £5000 a year. So I need to write 10 books then I need never worry about money ever again. Yay!
I've tried this and, believe me, it doesn't work.

Books don't sell themselves. Promotion costs time and money and doesn't guarantee sales. Think of your own buying habits. Do you buy a book written by someone you've never heard of just because it pops up in your Twitter feed? No, neither does anyone else.

Publishing is a lottery, that's a fact. Unless you're an established author or a celebrity, there's no guarantee of sales. That's why conventional publishers are so picky these days. If they can't deliver a good return on their investment they're soon going to be out of a job.

If you self-publish there are lots of things you can do to promote your book but there's no guarantee of success. And it has very little to do with the merits of your offering. It has more to do with the quality of your cover and the first few words.

My advice is to accept that whatever you spend on publishing your book, and spend you will have to, bear in mind these priorities. Cover. Opening paragraph. Blurb (book description).

Promotion can get your book noticed but once you've attracted someone to your website or Amazon listing what they see is going to have to impress them mightily for them to part with their hard earned cash. What's not going to get their custom is seeing something that in any way looks inferior to the professionally produced books they are used to buying. Your book has to look at least as good as they do and maybe even better if you're going to get a sale.

And this means you are going to have to spend some money.

Which brings me back to the question. Even if you spend money on editing, cover design, production and distribution there's no guarantee you'll ever get any of it back.

What you will have is a product that stands a chance, that's all.

photo credit: iamos via photopin cc

Submissions, competitions and prizes

Writing is not a competitive sport. There doesn't have to be a loser. Writing is a subjective medium, what touches one person may leave someone else cold.
So why are there so many writing competitions?
Before I start, I should tell you about my own competition experience. A couple of years ago I entered the Chorley and District Writer's Circle annual short story competition and won second prize. Despite all my misgivings about competitions, I have to admit that this helped me as a writer one hell of a lot. To be independently judged as having merit is an important milestone in my writing career. And the £50 was nice as well.
So, I received a boost from the first competition I ever entered. Lucky me. Because that really sums it up.
Last year, I wasn't allowed to enter the CAWDC competition as I serve on the committee and have a hand in forming the short list of entrants. This process opened my eyes to the different opinions that a piece can engender. This year I rated one story very highly but it received the comment 'pretentious twaddle' from another judge. There were several stories we agreed about but just as many that provoked argument. Imagine your story in that kind of melting pot. Out of a hundred entries, one winner has to be chosen and it's a matter of personal preference at the end of the day. The winner isn't always the best story and the losers don't necessarily have any less merit.
So, my advice is to enter but also be wary.
There are competitions out there that demand large entry fees and promise publishing contracts to the winner. These competitions are often trawling exercises by publishers who are using your entry fee instead of a reading fee.
Some competitions are designed purely to extract money from writers. So be careful what you enter.
There's only one winner, so what if your many entries don't make the grade? Equally, what if your many submissions to publishers or agents get rejected?
Well, first of all don't give up. Almost nobody gets published in the conventional way any longer. Even established literary agents are turning to self-publishing in order to find a market for their authors in the absence of interest from major publishers.
Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that it's possible that the right person hasn't come along to fully appreciate your work.
But also consider that you may not be at the publishing stage of your writing career. That you might have to write some more stuff before finding your true voice.
This is where an independent opinion is all important. Had I been aware, I might have saved myself a lot of bother and heartache by getting a critique of my early work. Basic flaws that keep getting repeated aren't going to improve what you write.
Consider those entry fees and weigh them up against a professional critique such as www.fictionfeedback.co.uk
Meanwhile make sure you enter your local Writers Circle competition!

photo credit: Montgomery County Planning Commission via photopin cc

Interview with Alex Salmond

'Fifty quid and it's yours'

NW: Thanks for taking the time to speak to us, Alex. You must be very busy now that the referendum is won and Scotland is an independent country.
AS: You're welcome.
NW: So what are the next steps in the independence process?
AS: I have absolutely no idea.
NW: But surely the negotiations are underway, there's a tight timescale, isn't there?
AS: Apart from having a hell of a party, which I'm still suffering from, there's been very little to do.
NW: What about all those issues that need to be resolved?
AS: Listen, pal, I don't do issues. My job was to win the referendum, and I did. End of story.
NW: Are you keeping the pound, as promised?
AS: No, they won't let us. As flaming promised by them.
NW: So what are you going to do?
AS: We won the referendum, that's enough. It's the will of the Scottish people that counts.
NW: How about the EU?
AS: We can apply for membership so that's not a problem. I expect we'll be fast-tracked in. If all goes well I expect we'll get admitted along with Turkey.
NW: When?
AS: Not exactly sure, should be before 2050 though.
NW: And in the meantime?
AS: In the meantime we listen to the will of the Scottish people. That's what counts. We're all better off without Westminster telling us what we can and can't do.
NW: So what can you do about the EU and the pound?
AS: You'll have to ask Westminster, it's all in their hands. Me, I just won a referendum. How good is that? I bet they're all wishing they were me down there. They lost, I won.
NW: Congratulations






photo credit: Scottish Government via photopin cc

Scottish Independence

I suppose I've no say in the matter, I've certainly not got a vote.

However, the Scottish referendum is something that has been intruding into my thoughts quite a lot recently. In a world where everyone is trying to effect closer ties, the Scots seem to want to go it alone. I believe this is because nobody understands what this means. The campaigning so far certainly hasn't made it clear and I guess it's because nobody ever imagined there would be a Yes vote.

What are the reasons for voting 'Yes'?

1. Alex Salmond

You get to have this man as president/ prime minister.
My impression is that he makes Tony Blair look trustworthy and George Bush look smart. The chip on his shoulder isn't going to disappear, ever. When times get hard, he'll just blame everything on the intransigence of the English as usual.

2. Job Creating Powers

According to the Yes campaign, this is what it's all about. An independent Scotland would be able to create more jobs. No they wouldn't.
Really, it's like saying everyone will be taller and better looking. They won't. Think about it.

3. Have your own money and spend it on what you want

Hmmm. What money? I believe that Scotland runs on a deficit, this means they have less money than they spend. It's the fact that the UK Government decides what share of the overall budget is devoted to Scotland that sticks in the Yes people's craw. Wait until it's the International Monetary Fund that decides. Wait until pensions depend on China lending you a few more quid.

The whole 'why can't we still have the pound?' question can be answered simply. If you want the pound you can't be independent. The big financial decisions will still be made in England, that's the way it has to be. If you want the Euro, you're very welcome to it (see below).

4. Europe

Scotland gets to be an independent country and play its part in the EU. 

Not possible, apparently. At least that's what the EU are saying. There's a queue to join the EU and Scotland will have to take their place in it (behind Albania, Iceland, Macedonia, Montenegro, Serbia, Turkey and others).  Don't take my word for this, ask John-Claude Juncker.

Oh, if Scotland are eventually let into the EU, they will have to adopt the Euro. That's one of the rules of entry.

5. If it all goes pear shaped we can always go back into the UK

Again, this isn't an option. Once you're out, you're out. The referendum isn't like a general election where if you vote the wrong way you can correct matters five years later, then do it again five years after that. This is it, once and for all.

It's not any of my business, really. I don't live in Scotland and I'm not Scottish. I have some friends in Scotland, that's all. My bet is that they'll all be voting Yes.

The key issue for me, though, is the practicality of an independent Scotland. A lot of very inconvenient and expensive things will have to change. Currency is one, EU is the other. No pound, no EU membership.
It will also mean that we have to control the border between England and Scotland. Not because we want to, but because it has to be. The're can't be free passage from non-EU to EU. Also, Scotland will have a different immigration policy. EU apart, England can't allow people who Scotland decide to let in to also have access to the rest of the UK. Controlling the border will be difficult, costly and very damaging to the Scottish economy. Think about it.

The Yes campaign has run on the basis that all matters will be up for negotiation after the vote. That everything will be done sensibly and reasonably. That nothing detrimental will happen. That denying Scotland the pound would be unthinkable. That the EU will automatically let Scotland in.

Just because no pound, no EU and a closed border would be disastrous for Scotland doesn't mean it doesn't have to happen. It does.

I fully expect the Scots to vote yes. It would be my gut reaction if I were them. Show the English and the Tories and the rest what they think of them.

If they do, the lack of fun will begin, I fear.

Of course, I could be wrong. I really do hope so.

photo credit: Jonnee via photopin cc

Limited Liability

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Limited-Liability-Jenny-Parker-Book-ebook/dp/B00N3LBTNA/

Some of you have been eagerly awaiting the third Jenny Parker novel. Well, your wait is over. The ebook is available now and the paperback will follow shortly.

It's actually the sixth novel I've completed, though the first three are unlikely to see light of day. It's been about a year since I finished the first draft and entered the interesting phase of revising Limited Liability and having it edited. 

I've begun to enjoy the process, particularly being told what works and what doesn't, what needs writing and what needs leaving out. I've somehow got over the precious attitude I used to have. The one that compels me to protect every word as if it were sacrosanct and defend every paragraph as if my life depended on it.

As with Due Diligence and Proceeds of Crime  the final version of Limited Liability is very different from the first draft. It's better. It's got more punch, more immediacy, more interesting things happening. And it's much more coherent.

I love it when things go well and LL has turned out brilliantly, though I say so myself.

By the time I'd done with LL, I'd begun to think that Jenny Parker was finished with me and that came as something of a relief. I embarked on a different project, a novel called Funky Junk which I am co-writing with my friend Daragh. Now I've nearly completed this (and it's going really well, I'll tell you all about it soon) Jenny has popped up again and embarked on another series of breathtaking escapades. I don't know where she gets the energy, I'm happy to be taken along on the ride.

So, Critical Analysis is in preparation and you can expect a fourth Jenny Parker novel in about a year.

Services for Writers

Writers don't do it for the money. Which is just as well because very little would get written if that were the case.
There is no money to be made from writing novels. (Or very little, in any event.)
Why do I say this?
Because it's true and I quote the Guardian:

According to a survey of almost 2,500 working writers – the first comprehensive study of author earnings in the UK since 2005 – the median income of the professional author in 2013 was just £11,000, a drop of 29% since 2005 when the figure was £12,330 (£15,450 if adjusted for inflation), and well below the £16,850 figure the Joseph Rowntree Foundation says is needed to achieve a minimum standard of living. The typical median income of all writers was even less: £4,000 in 2013, compared to £5,012 in real terms in 2005, and £8,810 in 2000.

Commissioned by the Authors' Licensing and Collecting Society and carried out by Queen Mary, University of London, the survey also found that in 2013, just 11.5% of professional authors – those who dedicate the majority of their time to writing – earned their incomes solely from writing. This compares with 2005, when 40% of professional authors said that they did so.

Let's be clear, just over a tenth of people that write full time make a living solely from writing.
The average professional author earns £11,000 a year.

So it can't be for the money, so why do we do it?

For me, it starts off as a need to connect, first with myself and then with others. It's not enough to put words down on paper, I have a desire to be read. And, I suppose, appreciated. It's very satisfying to get feedback from people who enjoy what I write and even better when they're asking for more.
I have to write, it makes me happy. But I also need to be read and the only way to reach readers is to be published. I'm one of the fortunate ones, my books have sold very well. But I'm not in the Lee Child league just yet.

Getting published for most writers is going to cost them money. There are lots of businesses offering services to do this and many of them are pretty expensive and not entirely honest.

There are others that have a genuine desire to help writers and not mislead them.

If you're careful who you deal with, though, it will be money well spent. All I urge is that you go into it with your eyes open.

photo credit: mrsdkrebs via photopin cc

What's in a Name?

Character names are a bugbear for me. When a character pops up in my mind I usually get to see (roughly) what they look like and can even hear their voice when they speak. Unfortunately, they never tell me their name. It's me that has to decide on that.
Rather than interrupt the flow of my writing, I tend to give this little thought. Jim is a favourite name of mine. Most male characters start up being Jim or John or Tim or Toby. This, however has to be sorted out otherwise the reader can become very confused. Then they get irritated, then they throw my book in the bin.

Of course, in real life we meet lots of people with the same name. That doesn't work in fiction. Even names beginning with the same letter should be avoided in order to reduce the possibility of confusing the reader. On the page, words with similar lengths starting with the same letter often get confused. It's because of our brains always looking for shorthand ways of doing things. There's lots of examples, here's one:

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

That's why I can have lots of friends called Peter and never get them confused but can't have similar character names in my novels or the reader will.

So, if I've got a Jim, I have to avoid John and James and Jacob and Jack and Joshua.

This is a pain in the backside for me. And I could do without any more pain in that region, believe me.

I like short names. Like Jenny and Kat. Like Toby and Alex. Like Mac and Mick. Oh dear. Mac and Mick. They're both in Limited Liability! I suppose there has to be an exception to every rule.

Don't let this put you off buying Limited Liability when it comes out next month.  I don't think you'll mistake one of these guys for the other. Let me know if you do get confused, though, and I'll have a word with my editor.

photo credit: *Nom & Malc via photopin cc

Fings ain't wot they used to be

Things change. The world doesn't stand still. It might move slowly, especially when you're sitting in the middle and can't easily see the rotation, but it keeps on going.

As a writer, change provides an interesting problem. If I write about the present day (which I generally do) by the time a novel is ready for publishing it's at least two years on. Not long, you might think, but then consider the fact that a reader might not pick it up for several more years. So, a novel is a thing of its own time, regardless of whether it is purposefully historical or not. It has to have the clues within in that establish the setting and time otherwise it may not work for the reader.

Let me give you an example.
Phones.
For many years, the telephone was a tethered device that required the close proximity of  the recipient in order to function. Mobile phones changed things fundamentally, making everyone acessible all the time regardless of location. This began to happen in 1985. The old tethered phone had been standard from the 1870's, it's had a long and honourable innings.

Communication is fundamental to our lives and particularly important when it comes to plotting crime thrillers. Before 1985, it wasn't possible to talk to someone unless they standing next to a telephone. If you were out and about, urgent calls had to be made using a phone box. Imagine! A box with a phone in it used to be the only game in town. If you were going to be late for your tea, you had to find one, stop the car, get out, fumble for coins, dial the number, push your coins in when you heard the pips and explain yourself. Most people, understandably, just turned up late.

A fundamental shift started in 1985. Plotting crime thrillers after that became different. Everything began to move more quickly.

In Proceeds of Crime, the second Jenny Parker novel, Jenny escapes from a brothel by fighting her way out. Then she hurtles down countless flights of stairs, away from her pursuer. Nothing, it seems, can prevent her getaway, she's much too quick. Wrong. The brothel keeper has phoned his mates who are waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs. Oh dear. In the modern world, post 1985, running away isn't as simple as it once was.

photo credit: Helena Nilsdotter via photopin cc

Ripley's Cat

Alien? Really?

In Ridley Scott's film there's a point where Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) has the opportunity to escape. All her crewmates are dead, having encountered the alien and met a grisly end. There's no fighting the alien, it has blood so corrosive that if you did manage to wound it you would die because the ship's hull would be breached and all your air would disappear. So, all Ripley can do is get into the escape pod and get the hell out of there.

Does she?

No.

Why?

Because the film would just end there and then in a most unsatisfactory manner. There would be no resolution. And resolution is very important for any film or novel.

Ripley decides to rescue the cat and give the alien a chance to creep on board her escape craft so that we can have a proper and fitting climax to the film.

I remember shouting at the screen 'Leave the ****** cat and get the hell out.' The cinema was absolutely packed and there was a tremendous groundswell of agreement with my outburst. Although we all wanted Sigourney to be safe, we also respected and fully understood her decision to rescue the cat. She wasn't the kind of girl to abandon it to the dreadful clutches of the alien. We would all most certainly have left the cat and saved our skins, but the whole cinema audience knew she was made of much stronger stuff than we were.

It worked. Her actions, however we might disagree with them, were in character. So we got our ending and our resolution without it seeming contrived.

If you ask me, the big contrivance was the super corrosive blood. But I'm a chemist and I would be sceptical about something like that.

In the Due Diligence, Jenny is in terrible danger but hasn't got the option of running away from it. She has her own version of Ripley's Cat.

Out of Action

I've been a bit quiet lately. Not only on the blogging front but also in various other regards. I've not been well.

I won't go into details but it's a condition that has been very uncomfortable and energy sapping.

Now, I'm two weeks onto recovery from an operation to make me better. The surgeon promised me four weeks of agony. Those were his exact words. I paid an extra consultancy fee to have him repeat them and he did. Nevertheless, I proceeded with the surgery even though I felt a great deal of apprehension.

So far, his words ring true. After two weeks I'm getting out of the agony stage and into the severe discomfort zone.   His four week promise makes me feel like I'm ahead of the game.

Not much writing gets done when I'm in pain. The new Jenny Parker novel, Limited Liability, was put to bed beforehand and the fourth novel, Critical Analysis, has begun well but has been taking a back seat to my physical preoccupations.

Blogging, as you might imagine, has been the least of my worries.

A friend remarked that he was sure my latest engagement with medical science would end up being written into one of my books. He's right, of course. Everything that affects me, affects my writing. All experiences, painful or not, are useful references to be accessed when needed.

A couple of years ago, I had a minor operation on my ear. Feeling braver than I really am, I elected for a local anaesthetic. This was a mistake. The sensation of someone hacking at my ear with a sharp knife wasn't at all pleasant. The intense pain afterwards was also memorable. Anyone who has read Proceeds of Crime will now know where I got that gruesome scene with Wasiewicz from.

I suppose many writers would call this 'research.' Though I doubt even the most dedicated would inflict injury on themselves in the quest for authenticity. All I have to do is remember what it's like to be in pain and convey that to the reader.

So I expect some character is in for a lot of suffering when I get back to it.

Meanwhile, I have to say that the ointment they've given me is dynamite.

Who's Jenny Parker?

People often ask me where I get my characters from. One rather cynical soul accused me of ripping off people I know by putting them in books, making money from them and not paying them a penny!

Well, that's not the way I work. Really.

There are a few people that think they recognise themselves in Due Diligence. One of them is right. All the rest are mistaken. Sorry.

My main character, Jenny Parker, is certainly not based on any individual. She's a product of my imagination, created by my desire to write about an ordinary person who gets caught up in serious crime. I wanted to explore the predicament of someone struggling without any safety net.

I made her an accountant for two reasons. First, unlike someone who works for the law enforcement agencies, there's no obvious support system for accountants who get into trouble. Putting her fate in the hands of the police isn't an option in Jenny's eyes. She has enough trouble already.

Second, the National Crime Agency estimate that there are at least 3,500 accountants who are involved in serious organised crime in the UK. It makes sense if you think about it, getting the money in the first place is one thing but being able to spend it is another. For that you need an expert; an accountant.

When Jenny has problems she has nobody to help her. There's no limit to how far she can fall. That's what I love about Due Diligence, even I couldn't predict what would happen to her. And I'm the writer.

photo credit: BEYOURPET via photopin cc

Just Because It's Fiction Doesn't Mean It's Not True

They say that truth is stranger than fiction.

Someone (probably Mark Twain) said that the difference between fiction and non-fiction is that fiction has to make sense.

Some of you will have read a previous post http://djharrison99.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/money-laundering-regulations.html where Jenny Parker tried to pay cash into a bank account and got herself into difficulties. A good friend of mine, and someone who has certainly read Due Diligence, fell into the same trap very recently. My friend is about to embark on an exciting business venture and is setting up a new company. One of the investors gave him a few thousand pounds in cash because he didn't have the bank account details. On attempting to pay this into his account, my friend was taken aside, put in an interrogation room, visited and questioned by various people then told that the bank wouldn't accept the money.

He asked them if they would take a smaller amount rather than the whole sum but they were adamant that they'd accept none of it. He had to take the cash back to his investor who put it back into his bank before transferring it electronically.

I'm sorry, but I had to laugh. He'd read Due Diligence where he'd experienced Jenny Parker's discomfiture and had the money laundering regulations explained. Jenny is fiction but the world she inhabits is the same one that we do. The same laws apply to us all as they do to her.

So, be warned, just because it's fiction doesn't mean it's not true.

The picture above shows what the regulations are trying to cope with and why everyone is affected.

photo credit: European Parliament via photopin cc