25 July 2011

Good Sport

They are closing the roads near to where I live next weekend. The whole area will be cut off or disrupted most of the time, getting to and from my daughter's house will be nigh on impossible. So I won't be able to look after her chickens while she is on holiday.

The occasion?

There is what they refer to as an Ironman competition. This involves men swimming 2.4 miles in a cold reservoir then riding 112 miles on a bicycle followed immediately by a 26 mile run. I assume that no women are involved on the basis that it's called Ironman and not Ironperson and that women have more sense. I may, however, be wrong about this, in which case I apologise to any female participants who might be reading this and feel slighted.

No wonder the roads will be closed, they'll need access for the ambulances and men in white coats carrying straight jackets.

Last night I watched another sport on TV. This involved a squat, rotund guy with thinning hair. He was up against a bulky guy with glasses wearing a black shirt and a tortured expression. The winner had a very bad tattoo on the inside of his right arm, it looked like something he might have done himself and, if so, confirmed his right handedness. The tattoo said simply enough "The Power".

Both men (again, I saw no evidence of women participants though there were many in the audience) threw darts at a board for an hour or two. Most of the time the darts stuck in the board. At the end, The Power triumphed. He was very happy even though he had been winning everything for the last twenty years. The commentators seemed surprised at just how good he was, even though they had seen it all many times before.

I don't expect that either of these guys will turn up for the Ironman competition next week.

It strikes me that both these activities are classified under the general heading of sport.

I have a feeling that neither is to be recommended as a way towards better health.

The winner of the Ironman should be given a tattoo as his prize.

Suggestions, please.

Offerings will be judged on the basis of wording and placement.

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