Precious Words

People ask me how many words they have to write before they have a novel. It's an interesting question. Writers like me can be a bit obsessive when it comes to word count. I use it as a measure of progress. I like to write at least a thousand words every day. My problem is letting some of them go into the trash but I'll come to that later.

I'm reminded of the story about the budding author who approaches a publisher at a party. 'What's the least number of pages you'd publish as a novel?' she asked. 'Three hundred,' he answered. The writer threw up her hands in joy and went running excitedly around the room shouting 'It's finished!'

The conventional answer to the question is seventy to ninety thousand words though some genres like fantasy can be much longer. I would add a few words of caution, though. The important thing is to tell the story in a compelling way. That may take more words or, preferably, fewer. Vonnegut urged us to 'start as close to the end as possible'.

Which brings me back to the unpalatable truth that not every word I write is either necessary or appropriate for the story I'm telling. Accepting this isn't easy. Those words were painstakingly and often painfully extracted. Losing them into the oblivion of the trash bin can hurt.
There are times when I read through the previous day's output and am tempted to trash the lot. This is normal but ill-advised. I have learned to leave everything exactly as it was written until I've finished the story. Then, after a period of reflection, revision can take place.
Working with an editor has taught me that I am not a good judge of my own work.

The initial casualties of the editing tend to be the first few chapters. Often these can be completely removed with great benefit to the whole piece. Why is that? The way I've come to think about this is to consider the opening exchanges of a difficult conversation. Imagine having to persuade someone to do something you know they won't like. How would you start the conversation? I'd certainly not go straight to the point. I'd ask them how they were and try to get an idea of how they were feeling. See if there was some angle I could use to soften the impact of the harsh words to follow. So it is with my characters. They are inevitably in for a hard time. I'm about to throw all kinds of trials and tribulations their way. Before I do, though, I spend a bit of time getting to know them a bit better.
The reader doesn't have to see this process.

My first Jenny Parker novel originally began with a long detailed scene with Jenny sitting on a toilet. I resisted its deletion with all my might but eventually conceded that this piece of information might have been essential for me but it was something my readers should be spared.
Incidentally, six years after its first publication, a new edition of Due Diligence has been released. The toilet scene is still missing.

Submissions, competitions and prizes

Writing is not a competitive sport. There doesn't have to be a loser. Writing is a subjective medium, what touches one person may leave someone else cold.
So why are there so many writing competitions?
Before I start, I should tell you about my own competition experience. A couple of years ago I entered the Chorley and District Writer's Circle annual short story competition and won second prize. Despite all my misgivings about competitions, I have to admit that this helped me as a writer one hell of a lot. To be independently judged as having merit is an important milestone in my writing career. And the £50 was nice as well.
So, I received a boost from the first competition I ever entered. Lucky me. Because that really sums it up.
Last year, I wasn't allowed to enter the CAWDC competition as I serve on the committee and have a hand in forming the short list of entrants. This process opened my eyes to the different opinions that a piece can engender. This year I rated one story very highly but it received the comment 'pretentious twaddle' from another judge. There were several stories we agreed about but just as many that provoked argument. Imagine your story in that kind of melting pot. Out of a hundred entries, one winner has to be chosen and it's a matter of personal preference at the end of the day. The winner isn't always the best story and the losers don't necessarily have any less merit.
So, my advice is to enter but also be wary.
There are competitions out there that demand large entry fees and promise publishing contracts to the winner. These competitions are often trawling exercises by publishers who are using your entry fee instead of a reading fee.
Some competitions are designed purely to extract money from writers. So be careful what you enter.
There's only one winner, so what if your many entries don't make the grade? Equally, what if your many submissions to publishers or agents get rejected?
Well, first of all don't give up. Almost nobody gets published in the conventional way any longer. Even established literary agents are turning to self-publishing in order to find a market for their authors in the absence of interest from major publishers.
Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that it's possible that the right person hasn't come along to fully appreciate your work.
But also consider that you may not be at the publishing stage of your writing career. That you might have to write some more stuff before finding your true voice.
This is where an independent opinion is all important. Had I been aware, I might have saved myself a lot of bother and heartache by getting a critique of my early work. Basic flaws that keep getting repeated aren't going to improve what you write.
Consider those entry fees and weigh them up against a professional critique such as www.fictionfeedback.co.uk
Meanwhile make sure you enter your local Writers Circle competition!

photo credit: Montgomery County Planning Commission via photopin cc

Social Media

As an author, I need to have a profile. The purpose of this profile is so that potential customers can find me and buy my books.
This profile has had to be constructed out of a substance called social media.
Various forms of social media are available but the most common types are twitters, facebooks and blogs.
If I Google my writing name 'd j harrison', I immediately find myself as the second item down and with a nice picture in the sidebar for extra effect. Well done Google. Or should I say 'well done me'?
You can see the result above.
Now, if I Google my name as 'David Harrison' I get the following:

i.e. not me at all.
I suppose I've created a brand 'd j harrison' which is very different to my usual name (but not very different). OK. Well done me.

Now I have to work out how I've done it so that you can do it too. That's if you want to.
I don't advise trying to make a brand called d j harrison, though. Better to think of your own. However, I would suggest that you do the same as I did and think of an author name which is similar but not exactly what you normally call yourself. This way there's a chance of separating the business, author, side from the personal side. I want people to find me as an author but not necessarily in any other capacity.
If you're committed to your own name, don't worry though. It's not that important to try to be invisible, none of us really are. Anyone who wants to can find us, it's just a matter of ease.
My experience is that Blogger has been the best way of getting up the Google rankings. I've used it for some years now and tend to blog weekly. My visits exceed 30,000 and I get about 1,000 a month. Not a lot, really, but enough to make my mark.
I also blog on Wordpress. I'm told this is the best platform for writers and so I just paste my Blogger post into Wordpress every time I post. Strangely, I have lots of followers on Wordpress and very few visits, which is the opposite to my Blogger site. I consider them complementary. An advantage of having the Wordpress blog is that my publisher website is written in Wordpress and it makes it simpler to import blog posts to the site.
So where do the facebooks and twitters feature in all this? To be honest, I'm not entirely convinced of the efficacy of either of them. Years ago, when I first started on Twitter, it seemed exciting and fun. I quickly raised my follower count to 1700 and there it languishes to this day. If I post a link to my blog on Twitter, I get several visits, so I do this from time to time to keep traffic moving. Selling books on Twitter is difficult if not impossible. If I see a book advertised on my Twitter feed I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole even if it is FREE!!!!!! I usually unfollow the miscreant as well. So I shouldn't expect any different treatment from others, should I?
As for Facebook, there are a lot of author Facebook groups that can be very useful. However, they do tend to be dominated by authors pushing their own books down the throats of other writers. Again, this can be tedious and is not likely to be effective. If you use these sites try the approach of 'what can I do to help?' rather then BUY MY FRIGGIN BOOOOOOOOOK!!!!! Just a suggestion.
I'd love to hear from readers about how they find books and whether they are as dismissive of social media as I am.

If you leave a comment on this topic, I promise to send you something.
Really. I will. Try me.

Interview with Alex Salmond

'Fifty quid and it's yours'

NW: Thanks for taking the time to speak to us, Alex. You must be very busy now that the referendum is won and Scotland is an independent country.
AS: You're welcome.
NW: So what are the next steps in the independence process?
AS: I have absolutely no idea.
NW: But surely the negotiations are underway, there's a tight timescale, isn't there?
AS: Apart from having a hell of a party, which I'm still suffering from, there's been very little to do.
NW: What about all those issues that need to be resolved?
AS: Listen, pal, I don't do issues. My job was to win the referendum, and I did. End of story.
NW: Are you keeping the pound, as promised?
AS: No, they won't let us. As flaming promised by them.
NW: So what are you going to do?
AS: We won the referendum, that's enough. It's the will of the Scottish people that counts.
NW: How about the EU?
AS: We can apply for membership so that's not a problem. I expect we'll be fast-tracked in. If all goes well I expect we'll get admitted along with Turkey.
NW: When?
AS: Not exactly sure, should be before 2050 though.
NW: And in the meantime?
AS: In the meantime we listen to the will of the Scottish people. That's what counts. We're all better off without Westminster telling us what we can and can't do.
NW: So what can you do about the EU and the pound?
AS: You'll have to ask Westminster, it's all in their hands. Me, I just won a referendum. How good is that? I bet they're all wishing they were me down there. They lost, I won.
NW: Congratulations






photo credit: Scottish Government via photopin cc

Scottish Independence

I suppose I've no say in the matter, I've certainly not got a vote.

However, the Scottish referendum is something that has been intruding into my thoughts quite a lot recently. In a world where everyone is trying to effect closer ties, the Scots seem to want to go it alone. I believe this is because nobody understands what this means. The campaigning so far certainly hasn't made it clear and I guess it's because nobody ever imagined there would be a Yes vote.

What are the reasons for voting 'Yes'?

1. Alex Salmond

You get to have this man as president/ prime minister.
My impression is that he makes Tony Blair look trustworthy and George Bush look smart. The chip on his shoulder isn't going to disappear, ever. When times get hard, he'll just blame everything on the intransigence of the English as usual.

2. Job Creating Powers

According to the Yes campaign, this is what it's all about. An independent Scotland would be able to create more jobs. No they wouldn't.
Really, it's like saying everyone will be taller and better looking. They won't. Think about it.

3. Have your own money and spend it on what you want

Hmmm. What money? I believe that Scotland runs on a deficit, this means they have less money than they spend. It's the fact that the UK Government decides what share of the overall budget is devoted to Scotland that sticks in the Yes people's craw. Wait until it's the International Monetary Fund that decides. Wait until pensions depend on China lending you a few more quid.

The whole 'why can't we still have the pound?' question can be answered simply. If you want the pound you can't be independent. The big financial decisions will still be made in England, that's the way it has to be. If you want the Euro, you're very welcome to it (see below).

4. Europe

Scotland gets to be an independent country and play its part in the EU. 

Not possible, apparently. At least that's what the EU are saying. There's a queue to join the EU and Scotland will have to take their place in it (behind Albania, Iceland, Macedonia, Montenegro, Serbia, Turkey and others).  Don't take my word for this, ask John-Claude Juncker.

Oh, if Scotland are eventually let into the EU, they will have to adopt the Euro. That's one of the rules of entry.

5. If it all goes pear shaped we can always go back into the UK

Again, this isn't an option. Once you're out, you're out. The referendum isn't like a general election where if you vote the wrong way you can correct matters five years later, then do it again five years after that. This is it, once and for all.

It's not any of my business, really. I don't live in Scotland and I'm not Scottish. I have some friends in Scotland, that's all. My bet is that they'll all be voting Yes.

The key issue for me, though, is the practicality of an independent Scotland. A lot of very inconvenient and expensive things will have to change. Currency is one, EU is the other. No pound, no EU membership.
It will also mean that we have to control the border between England and Scotland. Not because we want to, but because it has to be. The're can't be free passage from non-EU to EU. Also, Scotland will have a different immigration policy. EU apart, England can't allow people who Scotland decide to let in to also have access to the rest of the UK. Controlling the border will be difficult, costly and very damaging to the Scottish economy. Think about it.

The Yes campaign has run on the basis that all matters will be up for negotiation after the vote. That everything will be done sensibly and reasonably. That nothing detrimental will happen. That denying Scotland the pound would be unthinkable. That the EU will automatically let Scotland in.

Just because no pound, no EU and a closed border would be disastrous for Scotland doesn't mean it doesn't have to happen. It does.

I fully expect the Scots to vote yes. It would be my gut reaction if I were them. Show the English and the Tories and the rest what they think of them.

If they do, the lack of fun will begin, I fear.

Of course, I could be wrong. I really do hope so.

photo credit: Jonnee via photopin cc

Limited Liability

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Limited-Liability-Jenny-Parker-Book-ebook/dp/B00N3LBTNA/

Some of you have been eagerly awaiting the third Jenny Parker novel. Well, your wait is over. The ebook is available now and the paperback will follow shortly.

It's actually the sixth novel I've completed, though the first three are unlikely to see light of day. It's been about a year since I finished the first draft and entered the interesting phase of revising Limited Liability and having it edited. 

I've begun to enjoy the process, particularly being told what works and what doesn't, what needs writing and what needs leaving out. I've somehow got over the precious attitude I used to have. The one that compels me to protect every word as if it were sacrosanct and defend every paragraph as if my life depended on it.

As with Due Diligence and Proceeds of Crime  the final version of Limited Liability is very different from the first draft. It's better. It's got more punch, more immediacy, more interesting things happening. And it's much more coherent.

I love it when things go well and LL has turned out brilliantly, though I say so myself.

By the time I'd done with LL, I'd begun to think that Jenny Parker was finished with me and that came as something of a relief. I embarked on a different project, a novel called Funky Junk which I am co-writing with my friend Daragh. Now I've nearly completed this (and it's going really well, I'll tell you all about it soon) Jenny has popped up again and embarked on another series of breathtaking escapades. I don't know where she gets the energy, I'm happy to be taken along on the ride.

So, Critical Analysis is in preparation and you can expect a fourth Jenny Parker novel in about a year.

Services for Writers

Writers don't do it for the money. Which is just as well because very little would get written if that were the case.
There is no money to be made from writing novels. (Or very little, in any event.)
Why do I say this?
Because it's true and I quote the Guardian:

According to a survey of almost 2,500 working writers – the first comprehensive study of author earnings in the UK since 2005 – the median income of the professional author in 2013 was just £11,000, a drop of 29% since 2005 when the figure was £12,330 (£15,450 if adjusted for inflation), and well below the £16,850 figure the Joseph Rowntree Foundation says is needed to achieve a minimum standard of living. The typical median income of all writers was even less: £4,000 in 2013, compared to £5,012 in real terms in 2005, and £8,810 in 2000.

Commissioned by the Authors' Licensing and Collecting Society and carried out by Queen Mary, University of London, the survey also found that in 2013, just 11.5% of professional authors – those who dedicate the majority of their time to writing – earned their incomes solely from writing. This compares with 2005, when 40% of professional authors said that they did so.

Let's be clear, just over a tenth of people that write full time make a living solely from writing.
The average professional author earns £11,000 a year.

So it can't be for the money, so why do we do it?

For me, it starts off as a need to connect, first with myself and then with others. It's not enough to put words down on paper, I have a desire to be read. And, I suppose, appreciated. It's very satisfying to get feedback from people who enjoy what I write and even better when they're asking for more.
I have to write, it makes me happy. But I also need to be read and the only way to reach readers is to be published. I'm one of the fortunate ones, my books have sold very well. But I'm not in the Lee Child league just yet.

Getting published for most writers is going to cost them money. There are lots of businesses offering services to do this and many of them are pretty expensive and not entirely honest.

There are others that have a genuine desire to help writers and not mislead them.

If you're careful who you deal with, though, it will be money well spent. All I urge is that you go into it with your eyes open.

photo credit: mrsdkrebs via photopin cc

What's in a Name?

Character names are a bugbear for me. When a character pops up in my mind I usually get to see (roughly) what they look like and can even hear their voice when they speak. Unfortunately, they never tell me their name. It's me that has to decide on that.
Rather than interrupt the flow of my writing, I tend to give this little thought. Jim is a favourite name of mine. Most male characters start up being Jim or John or Tim or Toby. This, however has to be sorted out otherwise the reader can become very confused. Then they get irritated, then they throw my book in the bin.

Of course, in real life we meet lots of people with the same name. That doesn't work in fiction. Even names beginning with the same letter should be avoided in order to reduce the possibility of confusing the reader. On the page, words with similar lengths starting with the same letter often get confused. It's because of our brains always looking for shorthand ways of doing things. There's lots of examples, here's one:

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

That's why I can have lots of friends called Peter and never get them confused but can't have similar character names in my novels or the reader will.

So, if I've got a Jim, I have to avoid John and James and Jacob and Jack and Joshua.

This is a pain in the backside for me. And I could do without any more pain in that region, believe me.

I like short names. Like Jenny and Kat. Like Toby and Alex. Like Mac and Mick. Oh dear. Mac and Mick. They're both in Limited Liability! I suppose there has to be an exception to every rule.

Don't let this put you off buying Limited Liability when it comes out next month.  I don't think you'll mistake one of these guys for the other. Let me know if you do get confused, though, and I'll have a word with my editor.

photo credit: *Nom & Malc via photopin cc

Fings ain't wot they used to be

Things change. The world doesn't stand still. It might move slowly, especially when you're sitting in the middle and can't easily see the rotation, but it keeps on going.

As a writer, change provides an interesting problem. If I write about the present day (which I generally do) by the time a novel is ready for publishing it's at least two years on. Not long, you might think, but then consider the fact that a reader might not pick it up for several more years. So, a novel is a thing of its own time, regardless of whether it is purposefully historical or not. It has to have the clues within in that establish the setting and time otherwise it may not work for the reader.

Let me give you an example.
Phones.
For many years, the telephone was a tethered device that required the close proximity of  the recipient in order to function. Mobile phones changed things fundamentally, making everyone acessible all the time regardless of location. This began to happen in 1985. The old tethered phone had been standard from the 1870's, it's had a long and honourable innings.

Communication is fundamental to our lives and particularly important when it comes to plotting crime thrillers. Before 1985, it wasn't possible to talk to someone unless they standing next to a telephone. If you were out and about, urgent calls had to be made using a phone box. Imagine! A box with a phone in it used to be the only game in town. If you were going to be late for your tea, you had to find one, stop the car, get out, fumble for coins, dial the number, push your coins in when you heard the pips and explain yourself. Most people, understandably, just turned up late.

A fundamental shift started in 1985. Plotting crime thrillers after that became different. Everything began to move more quickly.

In Proceeds of Crime, the second Jenny Parker novel, Jenny escapes from a brothel by fighting her way out. Then she hurtles down countless flights of stairs, away from her pursuer. Nothing, it seems, can prevent her getaway, she's much too quick. Wrong. The brothel keeper has phoned his mates who are waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs. Oh dear. In the modern world, post 1985, running away isn't as simple as it once was.

photo credit: Helena Nilsdotter via photopin cc

Ripley's Cat

Alien? Really?

In Ridley Scott's film there's a point where Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) has the opportunity to escape. All her crewmates are dead, having encountered the alien and met a grisly end. There's no fighting the alien, it has blood so corrosive that if you did manage to wound it you would die because the ship's hull would be breached and all your air would disappear. So, all Ripley can do is get into the escape pod and get the hell out of there.

Does she?

No.

Why?

Because the film would just end there and then in a most unsatisfactory manner. There would be no resolution. And resolution is very important for any film or novel.

Ripley decides to rescue the cat and give the alien a chance to creep on board her escape craft so that we can have a proper and fitting climax to the film.

I remember shouting at the screen 'Leave the ****** cat and get the hell out.' The cinema was absolutely packed and there was a tremendous groundswell of agreement with my outburst. Although we all wanted Sigourney to be safe, we also respected and fully understood her decision to rescue the cat. She wasn't the kind of girl to abandon it to the dreadful clutches of the alien. We would all most certainly have left the cat and saved our skins, but the whole cinema audience knew she was made of much stronger stuff than we were.

It worked. Her actions, however we might disagree with them, were in character. So we got our ending and our resolution without it seeming contrived.

If you ask me, the big contrivance was the super corrosive blood. But I'm a chemist and I would be sceptical about something like that.

In the Due Diligence, Jenny is in terrible danger but hasn't got the option of running away from it. She has her own version of Ripley's Cat.

Just Because It's Fiction Doesn't Mean It's Not True

They say that truth is stranger than fiction.

Someone (probably Mark Twain) said that the difference between fiction and non-fiction is that fiction has to make sense.

Some of you will have read a previous post http://djharrison99.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/money-laundering-regulations.html where Jenny Parker tried to pay cash into a bank account and got herself into difficulties. A good friend of mine, and someone who has certainly read Due Diligence, fell into the same trap very recently. My friend is about to embark on an exciting business venture and is setting up a new company. One of the investors gave him a few thousand pounds in cash because he didn't have the bank account details. On attempting to pay this into his account, my friend was taken aside, put in an interrogation room, visited and questioned by various people then told that the bank wouldn't accept the money.

He asked them if they would take a smaller amount rather than the whole sum but they were adamant that they'd accept none of it. He had to take the cash back to his investor who put it back into his bank before transferring it electronically.

I'm sorry, but I had to laugh. He'd read Due Diligence where he'd experienced Jenny Parker's discomfiture and had the money laundering regulations explained. Jenny is fiction but the world she inhabits is the same one that we do. The same laws apply to us all as they do to her.

So, be warned, just because it's fiction doesn't mean it's not true.

The picture above shows what the regulations are trying to cope with and why everyone is affected.

photo credit: European Parliament via photopin cc

National Crime Agency

The NCA became operational in October 2013.

This may not mean much to you but I'm a crime writer and I'm getting pretty excited about this new organisation. It appears to be the UK equivalent of the American FBI which has provided a rich source of stories and characters for us writers.

Remember Clarice Starling in Silence of the Lambs? Since the mid 1930's and J Edgar Hoover, the FBI has been at the forefront of novels, film and television.  The arrival of an UK equivalent is a momentous event in crime fiction history.

As a novelist writing stories set in the present, I can't ignore current events and still retain credibility. If the local police force turn up to investigate and the reader knows full well it ought to be the NCA it's not helpful to the plot. As both Due Diligence and Proceeds of Crime involve organised crime, which is the remit of the NCA, I've been following its inception and formation for several years. I've read extensively, watched Keith Bristow, the NCA Director General, appear before the Parliamentary Home Affairs Committee, made sure I'm up to date with developments.

I discussed money laundering over lunch with a senior NCA official who then asked for copies of both Due Diligence and Proceeds of Crime so that they could check them for authenticity. I also suspect that they were very interested by some of the things that Jenny Parker gets up to. So don't go copying her for heaven's sake, you're bound to get arrested.

It's all part of the craft of crime writing, though most readers won't realise how much research has to be done in order that we present them with a believable story. Which is how it should be. My novels aim to excite and entertain. If they're also informative, that's a bonus.

Here's a sample review of Due Diligence:

5.0 out of 5 stars Thumping good thriller

By SallyP-B

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

For a debut novel this was fantastic, more please! I read this in 2 days and really felt for Jenny. Life has a habit of kicking you when you're down but she survived all of it. Gripping and full of action, secret recordings, punch ups, dodgy dealings,fast paced, well written and as a thriller reader this kept me turning the pages. Please though give the poor woman a decent brew!!!!!

Bankers

Bankers should be spelled with a capital W.

If you haven't worked out how our financial system works, let me assist. You put your money into a bank or another financial institution such as a pension provider or investment company. These brilliant, exceptional, essential, amazingly well paid people we call bankers look after it for us. They 'invest' our money, or, to put it another way, gamble it on some financial horse race.

If they win, they win. They get loads of money.

If they lose, we lose, they still win, they get loads of money.

If they do something really stupid and bring the whole financial world to a collapse, we lose our jobs, we're subject to austerity measures and they get bailed out by the government using our tax money.

If they do something illegal like this:

http://www.theguardian.com/business/2013/dec/04/banks-rate-rigging-libor-euribor-rbs-citigroup-jpmorgan

They get fined and we pay the fine, either as customers or through our pension funds or because our taxes have bailed them out.

Why? How come this ridiculous situation is allowed to prevail?

It's our own fault. We're greedy, just like the bankers. Even though deep down we realise that for every pound we gain someone has to lose one, we cling to the hope that we will be the ones who win.

Also, the system is made to appear so complex that even governments are taken in by it all and are afraid to upset the financial institutions in case something bad happens again and they get the blame, again.

What can we do?

These are some of the things that the government and the bankers would find most inconvenient:

1. We could make more use of a barter system. You know, I paint your living room, you give me a hand maintaining my car in return. (By the way, this isn't an offer, merely an illustration.) Maybe even set up a system of local credit for payments in kind.

2. We could start to use a new system of money all together, one that bankers and governments can't control. Things like these:
http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2013/nov/28/bitcoin-alternatives-future-currency-investments

3. We can look to bank more locally, use mutuals or credit unions.

4. We should stop believing that growth is the answer and realise that careful use of resources will serve us all better than grabbing everything we can get. Having more doesn't mean being more happy. We all know that already but we need to remind ourselves constantly because the media are always telling us different.

5. Most of all we can be kind and helpful to each other, lend a hand, lend money, trust people rather than bankers.

 In Due Diligence, Jenny Parker finds herself part of the less savoury aspects of the financial system. There are times she has to rely on the greed of others in order to survive. Fortunately for her, there's plenty of greed about.

Lots of people have said some very kind things about Due Diligence, here's one review picked (more or less) at random.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Thumping good thriller

By SallyP-B

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

For a debut novel this was fantastic, more please! I read this in 2 days and really felt for Jenny. Life has a habit of kicking you when you're down but she survived all of it. Gripping and full of action, secret recordings, punch ups, dodgy dealings,fast paced, well written and as a thriller reader this kept me turning the pages. Please though give the poor woman a decent brew!!!!!

photo credit: Byzantine_K via photopin cc

Money Laundering Regulations

Here is another extract from Due Diligence. Have you ever had a similar experience to Jenny?

___________________________________________

As I queue in line at the bank, an officious lady with hair slightly too blonde and lipstick definitely too pink accosts me. She is carrying a clip board and wearing a navy blue uniform with the bank logo on its breast.

‘Can I help you?’ she demands busily. Her manner is brusque and unhelpful, in direct contrast to her words.

‘Oh.’ I am taken aback at first, deep in my own guilty thoughts. Having grabbed the bundle of cash this morning I decide to open a bank account with it during my lunch break, a sole account, one that Tim is unaware of, my account just for me and my future. It seems a safer place to keep the twenty grand and as I stand here excitedly I wish I’d brought it all with me.

‘Can I help you?’ she asks again and looks aggressively at her clip board as if seeking some justification for all this.

‘I want to open an account,’ I meekly reply at last.

‘An account?’ she repeats loudly. ‘Do you already have an account with us?’ At first hearing, the question appears to be nonsensical.

‘No, no, I don’t have an account. I want to start one,’ I explain.

‘You don’t bank with us?’ she demands, as if I’ve committed a cardinal sin.

‘No, but I want to.’

‘What sort of account?’

‘I don’t know, what sorts are there? Just a normal, everyday current account, I suppose.’ 

There is a look in her eye that makes me feel even more like a criminal than when I came in here.

She bustles off and returns with some forms.

‘Here.’ She thrusts them into my hand. ‘Complete these then hand them in at the reception desk.’ She indicates a large lady in a uniformed blouse that isn’t quite managing to contain everything it’s meant to.

I breathe a sigh of relief and use one of the pens on a chain to write my particulars on the form. The questions are impertinent, but I persevere and put the thing on the desk hoping to get away in time to buy myself a sandwich.

‘Passport, driver’s licence and utility bill,’ the large lady intones.

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘Passport, driver’s licence and utility bill,’ she repeats. ‘You need to have proof of identity to open an account, passport, driver’s licence and utility bill, that’s what you need.’

I fish about in my handbag, pull out my driver’s licence.

‘Here,’ I say, ‘it’s got a photo and my address. That should do.’

‘We need a utility bill and a passport,’ she repeats. ‘It’s money laundering regulations.’

‘I haven’t got my passport with me,’ I say.

‘Can’t you go back and get it?’ she asks.

‘No,’ I reply. ‘I’m only on my lunch break, it’s at home.’

‘You’ll have to bring it tomorrow,’ she says.

I take out the money from my purse and put it on the counter with my form.

‘Can I pay this in now, then, I don’t want to be carrying it around. I’ll bring in my passport tomorrow.’ 

‘Oh.’ She looks at the bundle of twenty pound notes as if it were one of Toby’s soiled nappies. There is a hush. A silence seems to descend on the whole bank. Even the unhelpful lady with the clip board has disappeared, presumably to stalk people elsewhere. The plump lady gives me a conspiratorial look and whispers, ‘Not cash, love.’  I could barely hear her words. ‘At least, not a big wad of cash like that.’ 

I look puzzled because I am puzzled. This is a bank after all; they should be used to handling money.

‘You’ll get a visit,’ she hisses. ‘Does your husband know you have this money?’

I am shocked to the core by her inference and can’t think of a suitable response. ‘It’s all right, dear.’  I must look pathetic because she has started to patronise me in a serious way now. ‘We’re not allowed to tell people,’ but she does anyway, ‘large amounts of cash get reported, then you get a visit from the police.’

She stops whispering, then shovels the money and the form into an envelope that has the bank’s address conveniently printed on it, with a square in the top right corner that helps you to position the stamp in the event that you need to post it back to them.

I get out of there quickly, trying not to run and managing to resist screaming until I’m well away.

___________________________________________________

We live in a strange world, one where it's assumed that any cash we might have is derived from criminal sources unless we can prove otherwise. Guilty unless we can prove ourselves innocent. It's a harsh reality that Jenny Parker faces as she's plunged into ever more desperate circumstances.

An Offer You Can't Refuse

Here is an extract from the beginning of Due Diligence, the first Jenny Parker novel. When you've read it, let me know what you think Jenny should have done differently.

As I sit on the edge of the giant bed alone at last in the functional tidiness of my Travel Lodge room, the feeling of vague unease I had after first examining Associated Composites’ accounts has grown into a realisation that there is something very wrong. Every attempt I make to get to the bottom of things is met with ill-disguised fudging and at this rate of progress I could be here for a long time. I really do need to get home tomorrow; I’m concerned about what’s happening there.

Tim tells me all is well, Toby has been a good boy; he has eaten all his tea and he went to bed at the right time and is sleeping now. Even over the phone I register my husband’s insincerity, he might as well be Sullivan or O’Rourke, but I have to comfort myself with belief. 

I imagine a world where I no longer have to deal with Tim and for an instant I feel a lightness – which evaporates quickly as all the thoughts crowd back in about Toby needing a father and how I couldn’t manage financially without Tim.

A firm rapping on my door jolts me back to the here and now. There’s only one person who knows my whereabouts and that’s Paul. Our arrangement is to meet for dinner at eight, it’s only seven fifteen and I’m sitting in my underwear looking forward to a relaxing shower. A tide of anger tempts me to shout, ‘Fuck off and leave me alone,’ but instead an inane, ‘Who is it?’ actually emerges.

A soft voice with a disarming accent replies. ‘It is I, Giuseppe Casagrande. My apologies for disturbing you, Signora Parker.’

My heart beats faster in shock, I peer through the tiny peephole and a distorted version of Casagrande is indeed on my doorstep.

‘Wait, one moment.’ I cast around for something to wear, quickly dress and open the door. He walks in majestically and sits down on the chair by the desk. He is alone, dressed in a dark blue suit now, looking even more expensively elegant. I realise that I felt compelled to admit him; refusing him entry was something I didn’t consider. Now he is here I feel my discomfort increasing and wonder if I should have sent him away. After all, I am a vulnerable woman alone in a hotel room.

‘Thank you for seeing me.’ He waves to encompass the room. ‘And in such unconventional surroundings. I fear you might find me not entirely professional.’ 

He smiles to reveal perfectly white, perfectly even teeth. I wonder whether they’re his own. I also wonder what he would possibly want with me. His manner seems more assured now and less disturbing than I experienced at the office. There is a cool charm, the air of a man operating in his own element, performing work that he is good at and comfortable with. The thought that this might be rape or murder is easily dismissed. His suit is far too expensive for him to be engaging in anything messy.

‘I am asking for your help, your assistance, Signora Parker. The people I represent require the takeover to proceed smoothly. It is very important to them. It is not something that they can allow to fail and it is very close, practically complete: a done deal as you say.’

I begin to mentally phrase my queries – what people? Why do they want it so much? Why me? How can I possibly be of any help? – but Casagrande’s tight manner and precise economy of words convince me that this is no question and answer session. He is here to speak, I am supposed to listen and, I feel a pang of worry at this, agree to do whatever he wants. He places a thick document case on the desk. It’s black leather and blends in comfortably with the general opulence of his attire.

‘Here, this is for you, an indication of our serious nature and good intentions. I am sure you will find its contents convincing. All you need do is make sure that your firm delivers a positive report on Composites, something that says that a thorough check has been made and that all is as it should be. Something that will smooth the process of the transaction.’

He pushes the leather case towards me and stands up. A sudden realisation of what the case might contain grabs my stomach. Of course it could be some of the extra documentation that Paul has requested but I have my doubts. Then excitement grips me and I can hardly stop myself from zipping it open and checking out my suspicions. In the presence of Casagrande this seems inappropriate, almost insulting, and I resist. As he turns for the door I manage to voice my uncertainty.

‘Wait. I don’t know how I can help you. It’s not up to me; it will have to be a partner that signs off the due diligence on your business. I’m only an accountant, I don’t think I can help.’

There is a stern look on his face as he turns towards me.

‘Signora Parker, let me explain. Where I come from there are two kinds of people. In the north, if you do not do what is asked of you then a member of your family is taken and pieces of them are sent to you until you do what you are asked. In the south, if you don’t do what you are asked, then you are killed. You need to be aware that the people I represent are from the south.’

With that he opens the heavy door and leaves me standing in numb incomprehension until the fearful implications begin to sink in. I no longer have any desire to open the case. It can only bring certainty to the situation I am in. I lie down on the bed and close my eyes hoping to wake up to find the world the place it was before Casagrande showed up.

photo credit: yewenyi via photopin cc

Bribery and Corruption

Jenny Parker is having a hard time. She's desperate to take her baby son and leave her husband but can't afford to.

In the course of her work as an accountant, she undertakes a due diligence exercise and thinks she has uncovered some irregularities. She voices her suspicions to a colleague but he overrules her.

A representative of the company she's investigating gives her an envelope containing ten thousand pounds in cash. He makes it clear that this is payment for a positive report, which she knows is going to result even if she objects.

Whether she takes the money or not, the outcome of the exercise is going to be the same.

The money is enough to change her life, to allow her to make a new home for herself and her son.

What would you advise Jenny to do?

If you were faced with the same circumstances, what would you do?

Let me know what you think.

In the meantime, have a Happy Christmas.

Oh, and if you want to know what Jenny does, read Due Diligence. You'll be astonished at the consequences.

Limited Liability

Due Diligence

I'm finishing off my third crime thriller, Limited Liability, at the moment. It has to be the best novel I've ever written. I'm not just saying that out of misplaced arrogance, it has to be. It's required. I need it to be. My editor is being even more demanding than usual. Let me explain why.

My first novel, a SF thriller called Technical Difficulties was written in 2007/8. I had at last found a writing process that worked for me and was able to wean myself off crap telly to make time to write. For years (and years and years) I'd tried to write on a keyboard but I spent too much time tinkering and editing, fiddling about, changing the font, the appearance, anything to avoid writing what I wanted to.

In 2007 I started to write with a fountain pen. I just wrote and wrote. When I had a few chapters, I dictated the script into a voice file and sent it to a lady who transcribed it into a Word file. I not only had a method that produced results but I also had a built in incentive to write more. My novel was finished inside a year despite the time constraints imposed by a full time job and a family.

I sent Technical Difficulties to lots of friends and family members. They all agreed that it was amazingly good.

I sent it off to a professional SF editor, John Jarrold, who disagreed. He thought the main character was an arse and that readers would not be at all interested if he lived or died. John's preference was for him to die, quickly and painfully.

By the time I received this feedback I'd already written the sequel, Acceptable Behaviour, and was well on with the third book, Divine Intervention.

There was another, rather upsetting aspect. My main character, the unfeeling arse that readers hated was pretty much autobiographical.

It took me some time to come to terms with the fact that I'd written three unsaleable novels.

I did some courses and writers retreats, found a great teacher called Barbara Turner Vessalago, worked hard on my craft, joined the local writer's circle. And kept on writing.

My fourth novel, Due Diligence, turned out to be very different. I hired a professional editor, submitted it far and wide until it was published with the help of Stephen Leather, a very successful thriller writer.

Due Diligence has been very well received and sells very well. The sequel, Proceeds of Crime, is also doing well.

Which brings me back to Limited Liability and why it has to be the best yet.
LL is the first novel I've written knowing that it will be published. I have a readership out there waiting for it!

That's why is has to be very very good.

And it will be.

Hospital Food

The word hospital has the same root as hospitable. This implies that you're welcome, stay as long as you like, it's what we're here for.

Hospitals don't want you to ever leave, it's their job to keep you for ever. Or at least until you die.

It seems to me that the economic difficulties that this approach of free hospitalisation brings are being dealt with by the cunning device of hospital food.

They're not allowed to kill you with medicines but they can certainly speed up your departure using food.

Of course, the whole of our society eats really badly. We're stuffing rubbish into our bodies on a daily basis. But that's our choice, if we want to kill ourselves that's fine. My problem is with medical care that fails to recognise the correlation between what we eat and how we feel.

I've had a sneaking feeling about this for a long time but only recently received evidence that supports my misgivings.

Here are two plates of food:

Pick the one you think might aid patient recovery. No, not the one you might prefer to eat! Just because there are chips on the plate doesn't mean its tasty.

Try these two:

Now compare with this:

I believe that hospitals have a duty to administer a bodily intake that's appropriate and conducive to our well being. They have an opportunity to demonstrate a healthy diet that will help prevent further illness. From the reports I'm getting, they don't seem interested.
If hospitals feed their patients stodgy crap, any patients lucky enough to leave without being dead are going to think that's what they ought to be eating.
It's a crazy world.

Despair and Presumption

I was brought up a Catholic, so you don't have to tell me about sin.

Most people know about the seven deadly sins, there was a film about them after all. I could name them but sloth has set in.

There are two sins much more serious than the deadly ones. How can you get more serious than deadly?Listen, this is religion. Believe me there's a lot worse things than dying when it comes to religion.

The two biggies that immediately cast you down into the fiery furnace to be tortured for infinity are despair and presumption. So watch out for them in your lives. You might not believe in all this sort of stuff but that really doesn't matter. What you believe is immaterial when you find yourself sentenced to suffer an infinite amount for ever. 'Whoops! Didn't realise. Sorry. Now can I go?' Probably not, don't you think?

So why am I harping on about some old fashioned religious belief of doubtful application to real life in the modern era? Good question, to answer that I'll have to look at the two sins, attitudes, states of mind, call them what you will.

First, despair. This is when you've abandoned all hope. When you know that whatever you might do or try to do it'll make no difference.

Next, presumption. This is when you assume that someone else is taking care of business, that you don't have to do anything yourself, that you can just carry on the way you want to and things will turn out just fine.

We're all agreed that the world's in a mess. The human race is up shit creek. We're destroying the earth with our rapacious consumption. The only option being offered to us by governments is more of the same.

So, which is it? Despair or presumption? Which one do you hang on to as justification for doing nothing, for standing by and letting the situation get worse?

It doesn't have to be like that, we can choose to adopt one of the cardinal virtues.

HOPE

This book is a good start.

Active Hope

Little things are all it takes. Don't give up. Together we can make the world better.

Next time I'll tell you what I've decided to do about all this.

Economic Realities

Our economy is knackered. It's official, even the Government is beginning to admit it.

It may not be such a bad thing. The sooner we all wake up to the fact that our economic model is fundamentally flawed, the better.

When they say that the economy is bad what they're pointing to is a lack of growth. If the economy's growing it means that we're consuming more and more. We're constantly told this is a good thing. But is it? How can using more and more of the earth's resources on a tiny fraction of its population be a good thing? There's only so much to go round. The more I consume the less is left for you. If I only take what I need, there's a chance you can have some too. We're all in this together, we've only got one planet.

Why is our economic system predicated on growth?

It's an intrinsic part of the human condition to feel what we are isn't enough. All human beings suffer from this, don't ask me why. We all struggle with a sense of lack, that something is missing.

Buddhism recognises this state and how necessary it is for us to look inwards at ourselves, become aware of the causes of our suffering.

Our western culture encourages the opposite approach, urges us to look for an external solution. The delusion, propagated by the media, is that our happiness depends on acquiring things. New cars, more money, the latest gadgets. When we feel that lack inside us, we seek to fill the emptiness with consumer goods.

This is the basis of our economic model, never having enough. Even when we've gobbled up every ounce of our planetary resources, it won't be enough to make us happy, we'll still want more. It's human nature.

We can change this by becoming aware of what we're doing, by finding out what it is that makes us suffer, what we really need to be happy.

As Ghandi said, "Live simply so that others may simply live"

Like the guy with the elephant. Maybe I'd be as happy as him if I had an elephant.

For a fascinating insight into this subject, I invite you to watch David Loy's talk on You Tube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1e7Zysfkj0