Books that made me laugh Part 1

 

1889

Eighteen eighty nine. The Nineteenth Century. And we're in the twenty-first. How can a book so old make me laugh? A hundred and thirty years have passed since it was written and it seems that everything has changed. So, why is it still very very funny?

My answer is that human nature hasn't changed very much at all. Our environment, the way we conduct our everyday lives and the availability of information are very different to the 1880's but people remain people. And humour remains a constant.

It's also heartening in this world of TikTok that books also endure. The written word still provides us with news and entertainment. As a writer, you'll expect me to tell you that nothing beats a good book. So, that's what I'm telling you. Books remain the only way of putting ourselves inside someone else's head. And this is important. Everyone is doing their best, whether we recognise it or not. We can only play the hand that we're dealt. Being party to the thought processes of others is an important route to compassion.

This book is, in the words of the blurb, 'a timeless classic'. More than that, it is laugh out loud hilarious. A remarkable feat that so many aspire towards but fail. Here's the link:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Three-Men-Boat-Illustrated-Fiction-ebook/dp/B09LRXY2WW/

I challenge you to read the first page and not be amused. The bit where he researches diseases at the library mirrors what we all do on the internet these days. He comes to the conclusion:

"I will not take up your time, dear boy, with telling you what is the matter with me. Life is brief, and you might pass away before I had finished. But I will tell you what is NOT the matter with me. I have not got housemaid’s knee. Why I have not got housemaid’s knee, I cannot tell you; but the fact remains that I have not got it. Everything else, however, I HAVE got."

Next time I'll mention a much more recent book that still makes me laugh. We'll fast forward to 1979!

Heroes Part 2

 

There were a few dusty eyebrows raised when Bob Dylan was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature. Couldn't they find some who wrote books rather than a pop musician?

My answer would be that not only was the award richly deserved but Bob Dylan is one of the most talented and influential writers that ever lived. He's another of my heroes.

He has the ablilty to tell a whole story, imbue it with emotion and enough sensuous detail to satisfy the most pernickety reader (or listener) within a few lines of lyrics. A feat that would be require many thousands of my words.

The argument that Bob is not read but listened to is a spurious one in the age of audiobooks, don't you think?

Never mind what you think of his music, his songs, his voice or his performances. Read his book, Chronicles, if you remain skeptical.

Chronicles is remarkable not only for its prose but also for the insight it allows into the mind of a very special human being. The man's humility shines from the pages. This is no puff piece. No 'look at me aren't I clever?' memoir.

My abiding impression of his early life in New York is of a young man who reads widely and voraciously. Machiavelli and Plato included. As a musician, he soaks up lessons from everyone he encounters and marvels at their unique styles. He pays his dues, in other words, then makes sure we understand how valuable his experiences are.

Like I said, his humility shines through. It has inspired me to look at the influences on my life and my writing and to give them fuller credit. From my childhood days at Tyldesley Library where I worked my way though the wonderful yellow-jacketed Gollancz published SF books. Alldis to Zelazny. Blish to Sturgeon. Delany, Ellison, Heinlein, Pohl and the rest. Thank you Gollancz, you put me on the right track.

I was sufficiently flexible to seek out a wide range of books. Not just SF but LP Hartley, Huxley, Burgess and Iris Murdoch. Then there were the disapproving looks from the librarians when I asked for Gurjieff's All and Everything (Beelzebub's Tales to his Grandson) which a good Catholic boy had no right to have even heard of let alone try to read.

Stephen King once said that to be a writer you have to be a reader. Bob certainly lived up to that and I'm certain that reading widely has provided me with a solid base for my own work.

I only wish I had Bob's humility to go with it.

Heroes

 

Joe Abercrombie is the best Fantasy author in the history of the world. He's my hero, or rather one of them.

My opinion is personal, of course, and others might disagree but it's based on a pretty comprehensive and long standing fascination with Fantasy. I've ploughed my way through the likes of Donaldson, Jordan, Bakker, Le Guin and Martin. I've read Lord of the Rings out loud to my children. I love Fantasy and there are a lot of wonderful books to choose from. Joe Abercrombie stands head and shoulders above the rest, though.

There's a choice we writers have. A difficult one. Do we avoid writing in the genre we love because of the giants that have already claimed their castles on the mountain top? Or do we use the things we've learned and absorbed to create something of our own?

I met Joe at an event in Brighton where he explained the backgound to his book the Red Country. He said it was based on the Clint Eastwood film The Outlaw Josey Wales. This set me thinking that everything comes from somewhere. All writers share a vast common pool of precedent and what matters is not where the ideas originate but what we do with them.

I love telling stories. That's the basis for what I write. My technique, if I can can call it that, is to drop into a scene and observe what my characters are up to. Then I spend my time following them around until the story has been told. It sounds easy but there are times I wish I had more influence.

So my Fantasy books are very different from Joe's. Just as my thillers aren't at all like Chandler's or my SF like Iain M Banks. 

Writing isn't a competitve sport. I am happy to urge you to read Abercrombie if you haven't already because I'm convinced you'll be very happy you did.

The prompt for this reflection comes from a rather perceptive review from someone in the US who says stuff like:

'DJ Harrison does a wonderful Job of creating a story, that in my opinion, is a very different fantasy!
Filled with Demons, magic, steel and swords....YES!

But the first novels twist is that there is no clear, main character. All of them are so real, that the closest you get are Anti-heros. The human flaws that flesh them out and make them real, mean that they don't stand out in the traditional sense.'

I hadn't thought about the Secret of the Scroll in those terms. As I've indicated, my characters are a law to themselves and wouldn't recognise themselves as any kind of hero protagonist. Just like the rest of us, they're doing their best with the situations that confront them. Interesting.

Oh, the reviewer finishes off by saying:

Fans of Abercrombie will love it!

Which is where we came in.

The Price of Gas

 

The price of gas has increased tenfold. Heating our homes and operating our industries has become enormously more expensive. Ruinously so, perhaps.

However, I reckon the cost of gas has remained pretty much the same.

The cost price reflects the cash needed to extract the fuel from the ground and transport it to the point of use. I doubt there's much difference in cost between now and pre-war in Ukraine. The huge leap in price only reflects the amount people are willing to pay for the stuff.

There's also a lot of talk in the UK about us having 'our own oil and gas'. As a country we have none. We gave it all away long ago to the likes of BP and Shell who are now free to sell it to the highest bidder. And that's where the money is going. Directly into the pockets of already over-rich people who have no need for more money but feel they are entitled to it anyway.

At 20p per therm, the fossil fuel companies were making handsome profits. Now, at 200p per therm, profits have become astronomical.

How can this be? Why should people who can least afford it be paying into the dividend pot for fossil fuel investors?

It's the system. The one we've been told for decades is the only viable way to run the world. We've been lied to. Sold a pup. Exploited.

The biggest contributors to the Conservative Party and individual MP's, apart from corrupt Russian oligarchs, are the construction industry. There's a reason for this.

Let me use the construction industry, with which I am familiar, as an example of the corrupt system which applies equally to every facet of business in the country and, in fact, most of the world.

Land, like the oil and gas beneath it, ought to belong to everyone but it doesn't. Those with the might to claim vast tracts of our country grabbed it while they could. So, most of the surface of our country is controlled by a group of wealthy landowners. Like the Queen. And Chinese investment companies. And the Russian mafia, sorry, oligarchs.

So, what's the cost of land? Not a lot. Especially if you stole it many years ago.

But the price? Agricultural land can be bought for £5,000-10,000 per acre. This reflects the profit that can be made from growing crops. The exact same piece of land with permission for housing will yield over £1,000,000 per acre when sold as plots to house buyers. Our planning system is designed to enrich  housebuilders. Corruption can be no surprise when such enormous profits are involved. Influencing politicians must be extremely good value for money otherwise why invest large sums in political contributions?

In the UK, the cost of a house has little relation to its price. The price, like that of gas, depends entirely on what people are willing to pay. And their ablility to pay is more dependant on the cost of borrowing money from the banks than anything else. Bear in mind that the exact same house in one place can fetch twice the price of one in a less fashionable district. No difference in cost.

I've rambled on a bit. Sorry. I hope you get the picture. Your energy bills are stuffing the pockets of the rich. Corruption ensures this. The media make sure we remain victims because the media is controlled by the mega-rich.

It doesn't have to be like this but it's the way we've chosen. Maybe its time to choose another way.