1 September 2011

Isn't it a Shaman

Couldn't resist the title. Cheap shot you might think but there is a deeper thought behind this execrable pun.

It's about me actually living the life I am meant to live, to the full, to the best of my ability.

Instead of that, I take a few choice words of wisdom and regurgitate them when challenged. Here I am, in the present, in the moment, embodied, living in the now. You get the picture?

Thinking about it is good. Learning about it is good. Reading about it is good.

But living it is what it's all about, and that's a different thing altogether. Knowing how to do something is useful. Being able to do it is an entirely different thing.

However, the key for me is getting it wrong, falling short, letting myself down, acting like a giddy kipper and not beating myself up about it. Not even regretting it. Not feeling I haven't progressed, will never get it 'right'. Only observing, not judging. Being real, not wrapping my actions up in some old story.

This may sound a little bit odd but I am trying to explain how I am at this very moment. Writing, letting the words flow and not being judgemental regarding their meaning or merit. OK, I know what they say, I know if I like it, I know if I regard them as valid or well written. I have the choice to be like this or not. I have the ability to switch them off and on. I can even decide to erase the lot of them.

I suppose you are already aware of the outcome, after all, you must be reading something.

The title gives an example which made me think about myself. I am what I am, as Popeye reminds me, and that's all that i am. A shaman I'm not. No matter how many weekend courses in shamanism I attended I can never be a shaman. I might learn a bit about what a shaman is but no amount of information can change my nature.

I'm me. The sooner I get used to it, the better.


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