31 December 2010

2011: I expect it will be really dismal

Think of all the things that can go wrong.  OK, stop now. I said stop, you will be at it for weeks, there's so many of them.
I am old enough to remember 1962. That was a time when it was easy to imagine that bad things were about to happen.  Really really bad things.  The B-52's were circling overhead then, and I don't mean the ones that sang 'Love Shack' in a very irritating way. As a school kid, I spent what seemed a very long time gathered in the assembly hall being told I had to pray very hard for peace.  I presume all other options had run out by then.  At thirteen, I was old enough to understand what was going on and be suitably terrfied.  I still occasionally lie awake in the night and imagine that distant car headlights are the final blinding flash that kills us all.
Still, I did my bit.  I prayed hard with a sincerity that only terror can bring, and it must have worked.  None of us died in that terrible crisis, though Pobs O'Brien did break his arm in a stair-related accident during the pushing and shoving that occurred when we were released from prayer duties.
So, in 2011, despite every prospect of it being pretty uninspiring, I intend to savour every moment.  Rejoice every time I notice that I am not dead.  I don't mean live as if every day will be my last, that would be uncomfortable and depressing.  If I thought today would be my last day alive, I would spend it in fear and anxiety, listing to myself all the really inconvenient aspects of being dead and worrying about all the things I will miss, like breathing and other small pleasures.
Instead, I will live as if this is the first time I have tasted aliveness, the first time I have breathed in, the first time I have scratched my back, etc. I am sure you get the picture.  OK, so I'll spend most of the year forgetting to do any of this.  But that's alright, nobody's perfect.  Once will be fine.

On a more sombre note, there has been a development in the blogging firmament which I need to bring to your attention.  Check out http://tedeuge.blogspot.com/ but please come back here after you have.

Happy New Year