Reviews

 

Authors like me need reviews. Reviews sell books. Book sales mean earnings. Earnings help pay for stuff like ink and food.

However, there are a few tips I want to impart about reviews.

1. If you buy a book, leave a review.

2. If you leave a review, make sure it's FIVE stars. Why? I'll explain later if you still need me to.

3. The stars are important. Your opinion isn't. This might appear harsh but I would point out that you're not writing for the Times Literary Supplement.

4. If the book arrived in one piece, was readable and the same book that you ordered, definitely FIVE Stars.

5. If you can't be arsed to read it, at least leave a review so that the whole thing doesn't result in a total waste of effort.

6. If you do read it and it's not your cup of tea, then I suggest one of two things. Either keep it to yourself or, preferably, use Tip Number 4.

7. A simple 'I liked it' is quite enough. If you're prompted to add more words you can use 'oh yes I did' a few times. If you get a bit bored with that you can say 'looking forward to the author's next book'. That's always a good one.

8. Some reviewers like to write a bit about the plot and content of the book. Don't fall into that temptation. At the top of the page, underneath the picture of the cover and the title, the author and publisher have provided a carefully worded set of information to inform the potential reader. The log line, the blurb and the short synopsis are arrived at after long hours of drafting, rejecting, honing, editing, rewriting, getting feedback, starting again, trying not to give too much plot away while attempting to whet the reader's appetite. A reviewer saying they were very surprised when Fred turned out to be the murderer isn't helping anyone, to be honest.

9. So, what's all this about FIVE stars? Well, my take on the star system is in Tip Number Four. Nuancing is, in my opinion, pointless. If you give 5 stars to everyone, nobody is going to be disappointed and you won't have to decide whether Harry Potter should have more stars than Cloud Atlas.

Reviewing can be simple and fun. It's also a sure fire way of making a poor beleagured writer a whole heap happier.